In June, KMLA also held an English Speech Contest. Though I know most of the selection process is over, I thought it may be interesting for you to read speeches. Here is mine:
The word ‘passion’ has been bothering me lately. For me, it carries a lot of weight. It implies energy, extreme enthusiasm, and perseverance all kneaded together and sprinkled with―if I may say so―a pinch of insanity on top. In all honesty, I want to be a passionate person. Not that I would cut off a piece of my ear to present to my mistress like Van Gogh―indeed, that is sheer madness and that kind of behavior should be professionally treated―. But I do covet his passion and do admire what he did with his life in general.
To have passion for something seems to be one of the more important things in living out life. I am sure that at one point or another, people have felt what they feel they can rightfully dub as passion. You suddenly are fascinated by something, like an academic subject or activity; you cannot wait to spend time with something or someone; you feel like you would be able to engage in a certain activity for the rest of your life and you would never tire of it. I, too, have had these experiences. But nothing lasts for me. At the end, I am always left empty-handed.
It was always embedded somewhere inside me―don’t ask me when, because I couldn’t tell you―but it was always embedded somewhere inside me that I was supposed to find some yearning or hunger within myself. But I just can’t. And so I’m lost, because I cannot figure out where I am supposed to be heading. That’s when I started to become mixed up about everything. I used to want to study economics and policymaking. Now the wind has blown out of those sails because of the confusion and I find myself starting, from the very beginning, all over again.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not a depressed person. On the contrary, I enjoy what I do on a daily basis; I love my friends and I try to love my work. I also love learning new things and having wonderful mentors around to help me when I have difficulties.
It is just that, paradoxically, this lack of passion for anything everything worries me, to the point that the worries eat away at the activities themselves. And at least one of these activities is the one for which I feel I should possess passion. I have never been able to exactly place what I am looking for. I guess I simply couldn’t grasp what passion means to me or to other seemingly passionate people. I was asking myself things like “What am I supposed to be passionate about?” “Why am I not pursuing something with fervor?” “Why do I feel so much at a loss for everything?” My head was constantly aching to locate answers for those kinds of unsubstantial yet very disturbing questions. It reached the point where I had to force myself not to contemplate such questions in order to focus on my everyday duties. Does this seem strange to you? Or is there some common ground between you and me?
Then, quite unexpectedly, I came across a potential answer key. It was on the morning of May 10th, 2012, at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology in Cambridge, Massachusetts. She was an alumnus, completing her graduate studies at the university. Now, I don’t think she actually meant to solve my problem. But in her answer I did manage to find a crucial piece to the puzzle. Listen and see if you can find what I found in what she said: Passion is not something you feel. It certainly isn’t possible for the most passionate of people to function solely on the basis of their enthusiasm every single day. But if there is one thing that is common with the people who have a lasting passion for something, it is their consistency in doing their given work. That consistency is what prepares them for their future pursuit of what they are passionate about.
That is what she said. I wonder if you can all easily agree to that. That real passion is not something you feel? Can you? I could. I could, because I knew that any kind of emotional passion that I went through was temporary. This probably is not true for many of you. Then it stands to reason that I still have yet to find my own passion―that is, I had to give myself more time and prepare. Something that is obvious, but I had been looking in all the wrong places. When you cannot make heads or tails of a problem, it is often advisable to start working on the next problem instead. I had been exerting myself on the passion problem for way too long, and it was interfering with the rest of what was on my plate. What she told me then also gave me the initiative to move on, to let the passion problem be for a while, because I wouldn’t get a solid answer anyway at seventeen years of age.
If you are able to identify with the difficulty that I had, then I sincerely hope that what I passed on to you was of some help. Life as a freshman in KMLA is peppered with freak-outs like the one I went through just a few weeks ago. I am told it is natural. For those of you who are in the midst of one of the freak-outs, I would like to say one thing: Seek and you shall find. Thank you.